Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
