I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Randomize
