If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
you will always have a special place in my vag
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
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just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
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I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
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