I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Randomize
