I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
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