i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
Bang-toberfest begins!!
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
