And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
i think im in europe. pls send help
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
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