New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
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