Moan for me like Helen Keller
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
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