She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
Floor bacon is actually really good
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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