I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
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