The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
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