Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
Jerry, you need to find god
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
Randomize
