How'd it feel making her break her religion?
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
