So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
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