I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Randomize
