that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
We talked him into tasing himself.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
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