facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
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