Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
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