Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Randomize
