I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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