i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
