I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
