The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
Randomize
