sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
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