if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
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