Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
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