I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
