I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
Do you have feelings for this penis?
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