i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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