He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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