who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
Randomize
