you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
