Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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