Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Randomize
