I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
Randomize
