I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
Randomize
