i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
