just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Randomize
