So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Randomize
