Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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