My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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