I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize