Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
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