Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Randomize
