they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
We need a shit load of segways right now
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
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