I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
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