Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
Why is your signature on my underwear?
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
