Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
Randomize
