My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
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