I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
Randomize
