saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
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