just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
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