youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
His hands were made for my vagina.
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
Randomize
