It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
