Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
My penis needs a shock collar
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
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