You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
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