i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
