a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
Damn victory sex feels great
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