listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
Banned from zoo.
Again?
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Randomize
