porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
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